I am midnight drunk by noon
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
