he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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