Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
