But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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