On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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