like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
