i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
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