Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Last time i carry you out of a forest
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize