I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
