I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
