Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
