So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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