Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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