Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize