haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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