I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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