we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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