There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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