two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
