why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
