he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Randomize
