Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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