every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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