I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
