Umm I'm too high to move.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
