If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
