So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize