My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
