I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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