i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
porn star boner night. come get it.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Randomize
