I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
nutella sex= disaster
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
