I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i wish my penis had a tongue
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
