And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
