Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
