that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
