But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
