i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
