lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
3 2 1 whiskey
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
