dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
