I should be sponsored by Trojan
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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