I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Randomize
