he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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