This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
