wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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