Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
