Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
