lets start a swedish sibling band together
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
