oh god the rape fog is back!
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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