hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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