Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
