If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize