Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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