i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Oh god it's open bar.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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