somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
