I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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