I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
