Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
