Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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