Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
