How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
